I am in the spare bedroom having a discussion with Ned about the state of the bed . He knows he's not allowed on the furniture, but our spare bed has mud on the duvet cover and keeps sprouting old dog toys under the pillows.

The Cherub interrupts "You talking me or our pets again?"

"Ned! .....And pets???? Ned's the only pet we have right now"

"Yeah, well Ned's got fleas - so I reckon we have pets"

"Pffftt Ned's had two flea shampoos, got frontline lotion AND we fleabombed the house. Remember???"

"LOL. Ned and his IMMORTAL fleas"