John Lewis is selling very trendy trees for minimalist scrooges for £50. Although since Scrooges aren't going to pay £50 for a paper tree there may be a flaw in the JL marketing plan were they to think that one through.

Anyhoots, I saw it, I love it, it fits my mood and I WANT ONE!! This afternoon Ned and I are off on a reconnaissance trip to see if we can find any freebie substitutes lying around Cheesetown.

That'll be step one.

Step two will involve a can of spray snow, and my best Kirstie Allsop impersonation.
Hi Kirstie!

Step three will be training Ned NOT to pee on or chew it.