RATIONAL SELF: Macy. No. Let's not go there. It's not a good plan!
Macy: She'll never find out.
RS: But others will. And she's old and arguably doesn't deserve it.
Macy: Well she's allegedly still rational and arguably does..
RS: You Will Be Sorry. Mark My Words. Transcribing conversations with your mother onto blogs IS NOT NICE
RS: Go on then. I dare you...
Pregnant Pause....
Macy: Right OK. The bits in pink italics are the bits I didn't say OK?
RS: Sighs, crosses arms and looks pointedly at the ceiling.
Macy: Hi Maw! {Hi, thought I'd phone you, since you never phone me these days}
Maw: Oh hello. How are you then?
Macy: Oh fine, fine {Actually some days I could go running down the street screaming, or just HOWL. But I don't think you want to know that}
Maw: Oh that's good. And how's the cherub?
Macy: Oh fine, you know....looking forward to Amsterdam. {Look his dad died two weeks back. How do you think he's doing?? Actually if you really wanted to know, you could come and visit him. Although you have pointedly not done that since I moved W back in}
Maw: Oh that's good. Did I tell you I met {insert name of other old lady here} the other day? She was asking after you.
Macy: No {Who??? dim memories of casual acquaintance} How's she doing?
Maw: Oh fine. Her leg's not been too good though. And we were just saying we need to meet up for a cup of tea sometime.
Macy: Oh that'd be nice. {Yeah right. The reason you didn't come to W's funeral was because you had arranged to meet a pal for lunch that day}. Listen, are you going to be OK babysitting Ned while we're away next week? Petal and Bob are OK for walking him and everything..
Maw: Oh aye, me and Ned get along fine.
Macy:{That's more than you ever managed with W} OK, I'm just worrying that you'll get a bit lonely over here. Do you want to invite someone else? What about Myra? {Oops Macy, you might have done it now...}
Maw: MYRA?? Why would I want That One?
Macy: Well she was offering to come over sometime too {Yes my aunt Myra did want to come to W's funeral. And she caused A Major Diplomatic Incident for even suggesting it}. Or what about Jean?
Maw: Oh Jean will be too busy.
Macy: Oh well if you're sure {Because personally I think you never told your pal Jean. She liked W, and would have been at his funeral in a minute}
Maw: Oh I'll be fine me. I'll come over on the Monday though.

Rational Self: Happy now?
Macy: Yeah. Feels better getting that off my chest.
RS: Sighs....
Macy: AND I'm going to leave the sympathy cards up for her when she comes....
RS groans.
Macy: She never liked him you know, never. But I don't get what her problem is now. I really don't. He's dead. Why can't she even say she's sorry? Why was she pretending he wasn't even here the last months?
RS: People do the best they can do Macy. Maybe she's just jealous of the care and attention he got. Maybe she's embarrassed at all the fuss she caused around the funeral.