Yes you read that title right.
It was my dear old Auntie Margaret who first told me "Well my dear, you'll spend your life waiting for the man".
At the time, as I remember she was waiting for The Man from the Southern Electricity Board.
And in this, as in so much else, dear old Auntie Margaret Was Not Wrong.
Currently I am in search of, in no particular order
* A plumber
* An electrician
* A joiner
* A plasterer
And, along with half of Cheesetown, a gutter repair man.
No, what you thought I meant something else???? Like I'm looking for soul mate??? Pfft. Been there, bought that T shirt, and buried the man, thanks very much. I'll leave it to Roses to peruse the Internet dating opportunities. Right now I have very Specific Needs.
The rules for Internet dating do not apply here.
A Good Sense of Humour, for example, seems to feature highly on dating websites. Er no. I have already been sufficiently amused by various quotes given by various tradesmen. What a laugh I had at some of the quotes to replace the electric shower... And I'm still ROFL'ing at the current rates for gutter replacement. £5oo plus VAT anyone? Chiz, do the Cherub and I want new guttering, or to eat through February? Tough call.
Looks?? This is important on the old dating websites. Frankly, for someone who should only be here for a day, and then either up a ladder, or under the sink, it matters not.
Availability? This is assumed on dating websites. In more innocent times I also thought that the simple fact of advertising in the yellow pages and answering my phone call, meant that you would be available. Ah sweet bird of youth - how I miss you so. How many dates have I made with trades and delivery men who do not appear? Special mention must go to the delivery man who was due to deliver "between 7am and 5pm". Having taken a day off work to wait for my new shower - it was delivered at 9pm.
No matter. I'm still waiting on a plumber who can actually appear as arranged to install aforesaid shower. Since October... I've been waiting since October.. Read this and weep!
Glimmers of hope in the situation have all proved short lived, and as misleading as the notion of 24/7 tradesmen. In September we found Bob who could who was fitting the kitchen at Wayne's. Bob who could, sadly turned into Bob who shouldn't when he managed to throw himself across the kitchen having drilled into a mains power cable. Bob (amazingly enough still mobile...) has yet to recover sufficiently to return to the scene of the crime.
Recommendations from friends in Edinburgh have all proved dead ends. Recommended Men based in Edinburgh seem constitutionally unable to cross the City By Pass. I live two miles outside this new Maginot Line.
I can see that this search for men is going to have to go GLOBAL.
9 January 2011 at 12:44
Glad to say tradesmen are quite easy to get hold of in Belfast, though you do need to suss out the ones who'll do a proper job and charge a sensible price, as opposed to the chancers. But some of them do have an odd habit of sounding terribly keen to do the job then disappearing off the face of the earth. Why don't they just say "Sorry, mate, not interested"?
9 January 2011 at 13:09
Nick - There IS a Belfast to Edinburgh shuttle isn't there? Just wondering...
9 January 2011 at 13:50
LMAO
What I haven't mentioned is that I'm also looking for a plumber.
Put it this way, I'm having more luck with on-line suitors than I am plumbers.
Perhaps, I should find a suitor who knows his way around central heating. I don't appreciate my pipes singing a capella.
My wv: basteris. Sums up the situation nicely.
9 January 2011 at 14:29
ONLY a plumber? Such realism! Such priorities! I'm welcoming any tradesman who darkens my hearth!
9 January 2011 at 16:00
And, along with half of Cheesetown, a gutter repair man.
No, what you thought I meant something else????
Yes, I did. I thought you were looking for a gusset repair man.
Sx
9 January 2011 at 17:27
It might be worth dating a general odd job man for a week or two.... needs must etc
9 January 2011 at 19:49
Good luck with finding 'a man who can'.......it has taken us 30 yrs to find people who we trust to tackle work and not rip us off...but I sometimes wish I had taken classes myself!
9 January 2011 at 20:27
I could lend you M. DeFarge is who rather handy at many manual activities. But you may have to put up with his annoying habit of requiring me to know where he left everything he ever touched.
9 January 2011 at 21:15
Scarlet - Rumours of Cheesetown's New Year festivities seem to have been slightly exaggerated...
Rog - Dating???? Needs WOULD if I could get one of them to turn up...
Libby - THIRTY YEARS {sounds of sobbing from offstage}
Mme Def - Does M Def realise he could be earning £100 an hour in his spare time?? Legally...?
9 January 2011 at 23:45
When we discovered Mick 25 years ago we rejoiced. Unfortunately his fame has spread and he is always in demand. We have to have a special code to signal that we are desperate and he will come.
Trouble is he lives half an hours drive away where the roads get snowed up and he is having health problems.
10 January 2011 at 01:16
I gave up on the yellow pages tradesmen years ago---the local newspaper usually has a trades directory of people looking for jobs and all tradesmen must be registered or licenced----
I've found most of my tradesmen as relatives of friends or work mates.
And if you get a good tradesman in one trade, he usually has a mate or a contact for other trades--and get him to contact them.
My neighbours just had their kitchen installed my the local "Hire a Hubby", jack of all trades----he did a good job--the two day job only took him two weeks and he still has a few bits to complete sometime---funny thing is that I know his wife---last time I heard of him, he was a musician/taxi driver.
My father was a plumber, so I'm fairly handy with a bit of plumbing----
Oh, if you know a builder, they usually have tradesmen on call
10 January 2011 at 15:12
Well, I've given up on the on-line dating and the plumber still hasn't rung.
I think I'll go kill a few trolls on Oblivion. Excuse me.
10 January 2011 at 19:25
Pat - Mick sounds like Bob.. except Bob's health problems were caused by drilling through a mains cable and powering himself across the kitchen..
Clyde - Sounds like I should start interrogating friends' husbands on their hidden talents...
Roses - Given up on online dating??? Shooting Trolls again?
{Goes off to Roses to see what's happened}
10 January 2011 at 22:56
I hate to laugh at your dilemma (dilemmas, dilemmae?), but you are so damn funny.
You wouldn't happen to have a video of Bob shooting across the kitchen, would you? That must have been something to see.
11 January 2011 at 06:56
Charlie - Sadly no videos..
Maybe I should have mug shots of the various eejits who have failed to turn up?
11 January 2011 at 17:16
Tradesmen a'plenty here in Minneapolis, but afraid they're all frozen.
Sorry!
:-)
Pearl
11 January 2011 at 19:47
Pearl - Hell it'll be Spring before I get a tradesman around here anyhoos.