I am starting to parcel up a couple of things of W's to send out as mementos to friends elsewhere and his family in NZ.
There is his old flat, which will need cleared (sometime, eventually, no rush); it's full of him, and stuff.
Stuff that preceded us as a couple (African wood carvings, his backgammon set, music); stuff that we generated as a couple (South American rugs, Thai and Indonesian carvings, books, music); stuff that he gathered after us, (souvenirs of the last trip to NZ, pottery, music and DVD's he and the Cherub amassed). And photos, photos, slides, prints, albums.
As he said, not long before he died, we were both hoarders.
By August and September of last year he was already giving a lot away. Because he would have known who he wanted the individual items to go to. But, deep down I think he was expecting to see out Christmas at the outside. And he loved his home, and, well, whatever, it falls to others to actually break it up now..
So I stand in the flat, and focus, and wait for ideas.
His cousin Moira is getting his backgammon set, a couple of small carvings, NZ CDs and a notebook - on the basis that that last one is personal.
El Rocko - who gave such a great thumping memorial at his funeral, and as his long term cohort on real ale trips, needs to get all his real ale mementos, and the photo of Rocko himself framed, dancing on ice Iceland, New Year 1994 (THAT was a good new year!)
Bruce, has already specifically asked for the CDs played during his last visit to W.
His uncle was a minister in NZ. W had previously never shown any deep attachment to any church. But in his last weeks he did ask for a minister at his funeral. He was visited here by Cheesetown's local minister, and I did find a bible in his flat. So Uncle Von will get that bible, plus the photos he had inside it.
The first of my parcels is ready. So on the 12th day of Christmas, I trudge through the snow to dispatch to NZ, Spain, and Glasgow.
Like everything else in Cheesetown, the PO is small and the service gets personal.
"This you been buying your presents in the New Year Sales then?". Oh let's not go into that old chestnut about Scots being Careful with Money...
"Ha ha! No not really. This is just me doing someone elses posting for them!"
7 January 2010 at 14:00
My mum has started giving away her jewellery and bits and pieces. It leaves a lump in my throat but it's nice to know that she trusts me with her most treasured possessions.
Sx
7 January 2010 at 15:22
Scarlet - I know. In an ideal world we could say, "Hang onto everything, no need to be thinking of giving it away". Since we can't always though, it must help to know that your own posessions have gone to the right people, who will appreciate them.
7 January 2010 at 17:00
I used to be a fanatical hoarder but it suddenly occured to me that bits and pieces don't really mean much on their own... it's only stuff.
That was the start of an ebay business!
7 January 2010 at 17:02
Rog - Funny you should mention that. I've been thinking of selling all the hundreds of CDs to raise money for Maggies or the Marie Curie Foundation.
7 January 2010 at 21:07
I took care of my dad and stepmom. She passed in my guestroom of breast cancer and he took much longer, he had Alzheimer's and eventually had to go into a home. When it became clear that they had to leave their house I had to disperse most of their belongings and it was a surreal experience, but it taught me that things are just things.
Sorry for your loss.
8 January 2010 at 11:35
My brother has been gone for 17 years and I have boxes---my Father 7 years and I have boxes---my mother 2 years and I have boxes and furniture----
If I keep the shed closed, it doesn't bother me and there is no one to give it to
9 January 2010 at 10:03
Elizabeth, thanks.The trouble is, I'm having to think what all this stuff would mean to someone else missing W.
Clyde - Oh yes, I might need a shed here for all the stuff Cherub is going to want as souvenirs of his dad.