Naples. And I'm sat on the bus from the airport doing some rough calculations It's nearly 15 years since I last landed in Italy.
Last time it was in Sicily. I was with Wayne and we had an 18 month old cherub in tow. We landed in Palermo Sicily; our plane had been delayed, our luggage had got lost and we were driving a rented car through the rush hour traffic.
The Cherub was still in nappies, and with the luggage lost I estimated we had 12 hours until meltdown.
I was fretting about the nappy situation.
Wayne was blaming me for directing him the wrong way down a one way street. Things were was going badly, and I was swearing that I would never ever, not in this life or the next, drive through Italian traffic.
But the Cherub was a joy.
He loved his kiddyseat, up high in the back of the car, he loved the oncoming flood of headlights. Turns out all he'd really wanted in life so far was the sound of 500 car horns tooting loudly around us.
How could you argue with this happy wee chappy in the back seat?
Turns out things have changed a lot in the intervening years. I've got him loads of oncoming Italian traffic complete with tooting horns and flashing lights... and all the Cherub can focus on is that we're lost.
We're on the wrong bus.... we're headed in the wrong direction... my navigation skills have been found wanting again....
Last time it was in Sicily. I was with Wayne and we had an 18 month old cherub in tow. We landed in Palermo Sicily; our plane had been delayed, our luggage had got lost and we were driving a rented car through the rush hour traffic.
The Cherub was still in nappies, and with the luggage lost I estimated we had 12 hours until meltdown.
I was fretting about the nappy situation.
Wayne was blaming me for directing him the wrong way down a one way street. Things were was going badly, and I was swearing that I would never ever, not in this life or the next, drive through Italian traffic.
But the Cherub was a joy.
He loved his kiddyseat, up high in the back of the car, he loved the oncoming flood of headlights. Turns out all he'd really wanted in life so far was the sound of 500 car horns tooting loudly around us.
How could you argue with this happy wee chappy in the back seat?
Turns out things have changed a lot in the intervening years. I've got him loads of oncoming Italian traffic complete with tooting horns and flashing lights... and all the Cherub can focus on is that we're lost.
We're on the wrong bus.... we're headed in the wrong direction... my navigation skills have been found wanting again....
23 February 2012 at 21:05
Ouch! Someone's taken after his father!
23 February 2012 at 21:12
I've not been to Italy, but understand that they drive with their horns!
23 February 2012 at 21:47
He's a naughty boy.
But aren't they all?
Pearl
23 February 2012 at 22:02
Ooh I didn't know the trip was happening so quickly.
We drove through Pisa once in a tiny rented Fiat. Went through a no entry sign and ended up driving past the leaning tower. We waved at everyone.
23 February 2012 at 22:45
I do that in London - the number of times I've ended up in Brick Lane when I meant to go West! Bad navigating makes for a lot more fun. The Cherub will learn to relax once he's past those earnest teenage years.
23 February 2012 at 23:02
Allotment Queen - Look's wise he could do worse!
Lx - The horn is, I think, as important as the brakes....
Pearl - Well he isn't any better than me at navigating that's for sure!
Trish - As long as you tooted your horn loudly..I'm sure they would have assumed you were a local...
Z - You've nailed it on the "earnest years". The end this phase can't come soon enough...
24 February 2012 at 07:05
It sounds like you were re-enacting a scene from The Italian Job. At least you could admire the wonderful architecture from different angles.
24 February 2012 at 07:53
Rog -Yep, you just look beyond the graffiti
24 February 2012 at 08:38
I've never dared drive in Italy either. Italian drivers seem to be total lunatics, determined to take over the road regardless of other cars or pedestrians. And I assume they still hoot each other non-stop. The racket is incredible.
You should have told the Cherub it's fun being lost. Much more fun than knowing precisely where you're going.
24 February 2012 at 13:48
The memmory of flashback in your heart sounds so fresh. It's just like the matter of yesterday.
Take care of the terrific traffic.
24 February 2012 at 18:11
Happy to sea your name popping up on my dashboard today!
Don't know whether you've read any of my "Souvenirs from Sicily", but I think there is something about traffic in Catania in one of them.
My first husband was from Sicily, and for about 10 years, I spent almost every summer on the island.
PS: Is it just me or is the font size very small all of a sudden?
24 February 2012 at 18:16
'my navigation skills have been found wanting again'.....no they haven't - you are on the path you should be on.....and if the cherub is half as sweet now as he was then he will be a heartbreaker....cute picture of you too.
25 February 2012 at 04:53
But what happened next?!! Talk about a cliff hanger!
25 February 2012 at 09:12
Funny, I suddenly had an image there of a cliff dangling from a hanger....
26 February 2012 at 01:22
I'm like that but with the Isle Of Man! And exchange bad Italian drivers with cranky B&B landladies! They say you should never go back. I didn't!
I once spent a day driving through Italy (on my way from France to Malta via Sicily!) What a day! :¬)
xxx
26 February 2012 at 20:36
Nick - You couldn't pay me enough to drive in Italy.
And yep, being lost is one thing you need to get used to in life...
Haricot - I'm trying to keep the good memories and lose the bad.
Librarian - I'm going to check out your souvenirs of Sicily next
Libby - Thank you! Funnily enough it's only the better photos of me that make it onto my blog. There are several hundred that never will you know...
Curry Queen - Trust me, drama queens always end on a high note....
Nick - And there are cliffs in Naples... oh yes there are...
Maps - France to Malta via Sicily... driving.... there's a pun in there about a journey without maps but I;m stilll working on it...
26 February 2012 at 22:12
Give him a few days' experience and he'll know the full dry-mouthed terror of being in car driven by an Italian and knowing *exactly* where you're going! I still have heebie jeebies thinking about some of the lifts I cadged in the Sicilian mountains…
26 February 2012 at 23:07
What really resonated with me was the worrying about nappies. that always seemed to loom largest when my kids were small.
27 February 2012 at 21:04
If Boy got that stressed at my getting lost, he'd be on medication. I do it as standard. In fact, if I don't get lost, we're both completely confused.
I love the picture of both of you! Lovely moment.
29 February 2012 at 18:35
Still, the Kiwis are the worst drivers in the universe, tail-gating and being rude...I can say that because I am one! Yes my kids very kindly point out my driving faults too...funny that
14 March 2012 at 17:16
I was thinking you could have called your blog Macy Beaucoup....
30 March 2012 at 07:23
Macy Beauxoup very good but inappropriate in view of the absence of posts.
30 March 2012 at 12:26
Have you gone back to Italy?? AGAIN????
Sxxx