Sometimes, sometimes, just sometimes my life runs like the well oiled machine it really is. A doctor’s appointment at 9 meant I could drop the cherub off at school to make sure he got there in time for his exams, his Big Standard Grade exams.
See, all grown up and efficient!
And that's me, not the Cherub..

I am,  in fact, so efficient that I have booked a doctors appointment a mere two days after first feeling chest pains (pfftt.. getting old or what? really need to give up smoking…ohh, dizzy and not well, Jesus I’m going to look stupid sitting on the wet grass here).
Have I ever mentioned I hate hypochondriacs?

I am so efficient, that for a change I am not late for the doctor’s appointment.

For a change I’ve even factored in the time I’ll need to wait and collect the New Drugs I expect the doctor to give me.   For tis a little known fact how slowly the chemist ladies move, and how long it takes them to pile through the first methadone prescriptions of the day).

Except the doctor doesn’t give me a prescription.  He writes a letter to A&E.  This is a precaution, something to do with internal wranglings within the NHS, you know, coulda, shoulda, woulda been the Chest clinic, but first A&E.
Ha! See how good this is? I’m helping maintain funding for our local A&E, and getting another hour off work. 
A quick text to work “They’ve just sent me to A&E, might not be in till lunchtime”
A&E doesn’t look like it needs any more visitors when I get there.   But then some of the visitors are policemen so they probably don’t count.
My wee Lithuanian nurse does an ECG, takes blood, and is apologetic as she waves me off back t the general waiting area, “If dere is anythink wrong we will call you soon, but it may be  awhile (shrug, pfft) dere is no more exam rooms!”
Well she put my file in the wrong pile.  I’m called back before I’ve found a seat in the waiting room.
Before you can say “Myocardial Infraction”, I have my own trolley in an examination room, a hospital gown, a second  and third EGC, more blood taken, an, X Ray – yeah, and a Cardiac Nurse explaining to me that I have had a heart attack.
Which is nuts.
This is a heart attack.

This is me.  Feel free to spot the couple of hundred differences..

I argued the toss then texted work again.  “They say I’ve had a heart attack. Probably safe to say I won’t be in later today”