Did you know that when your gutter falls off under the weight of 20 cm of snow, it sounds like 35 cats being dragged off the roof all at once? Claws screeching down the tiles, before landing with aloud thump on the perma snow below.
Well it does. I know this because my gutter finally went south last Wednesday. It's not a biggie; gutters have been falling down all around Cheesetown. Some poor souls have lost conservatory roofs and sunporches to the snow sliding off their roof. Since The Nedster wasn't patrolling the back yard at the time, we can afford to be sanguine.
She Who Walks is just going to have to become She Who Phones.
And I found a gutter repair man on only the third attempt!
A gutter repair man in possession of a 4x4, who can visit the scene of the disaster and pronounce "Aye, its straightforward enough, ken* but there's no much ah kin do thi now"
Because of the snow?
Nah, yi cannae get the materiuls.. there's nae guttrin anywhur ken"
It's the unreported calamities that are the real news of this Big Freeze. Our wee nation state has run out of building materials!
Lesson 10 Snow can disrupt the laws of supply and demand.
*"Ken" = "you know" if you live on the East Coast. Every time I hear it I'm reminded of the old Leslie Nielson joke
"Surely you can't be serious?"
"I am, and stop calling me Shirley"
19 December 2010 at 20:24
This time of year we'd be better off with retractable gutters.
19 December 2010 at 21:11
Awww hon.
Shirley that sucks.
Time to break open one of the boxes of wine methinks.
20 December 2010 at 07:09
Mr Musgrove - This is a brilliant idea! It can go on my list of Things They Should Invent, along with central locking for houses and Star Trek style Personnel Transporters.
Roses - Aye, ken!But the debris missed dog and patio windows, so I'm counting this as one of those things that's not a biggie..
20 December 2010 at 07:51
If it missed things that break and things that bark, you're absolutely right. But it still becomes yet another problem that you've got to sort.
Ummm...be right back, I think I need to check my gutters.
20 December 2010 at 09:25
Ah, this could be invertors corner.
In Australia we put gutter guard from the roof to the edge of the gutter---allows the water through but leaves / snow blow off / melt through---but dont fill the gutter up ----maybe you could become the Cheesetown agent ----
Now didn't he actually say "but there's nae much ah kin do thi noo"?.
Hope the weather improves for Christmas.
20 December 2010 at 15:42
Everything's being disrupted in this bizarre weather. I spent all Friday afternoon and another hour this morning trying to get through to my heating-oil supplier. There were that many people phoning up for emergency top-ups.
20 December 2010 at 19:08
Roses - Good luck with the gutter situation!
Clyde - No luck with Aussie gutter guard... it was the weight of the snow sliding slowly down the roof and resting on the gutter..
And we never ever ever say "thi noo"!! Ken?
Nick - I'll give it another day before panic buying of milk and veg starts all over again.
20 December 2010 at 20:04
You must be well guttered Macy.
21 December 2010 at 07:13
Rog - Ha! see what you did there! No Badly gutted I think...
22 December 2010 at 23:59
What you really must know about snow is that eventually it will melt off your roof, covering the ground and the steps below in an icy coating of breathtaking slickness.
Salt prodigiously and be extra vigilant should you be required to venture outdoors for any reason. One second you'll be thinking, "Lovely, it's starting to warm up." There will be a moment of incomprehensible airbornness and then you will be on the ground wondering a) what happened and 2) what broke.
Fortunately, nothing today, just a large-ish dent to my dignity and some lumpen bruising around my posterior.
Be careful!