I'll need to get the manager.

My first mistake was buying the dress off the rail in a hurry without trying it on.  Because it was on sale. Because I've always been a size ten... because I can always bring it back if it doesn't fit.

Apparently not.

The assistant has noticed a stain on the dress.
Now she's pointed it out, I can see a stain too.  However this is not my problem because it is not my stain.
Just for the record, I do not do stains.... well not in a long time, and certainly not in dresses that are too small.
I've refused to accept responsibility for aforesaid stain.
I'd still like my money back please.

The manager fetched from elsewhere, has however her own opinion on the matter.
Firmly and clearly, she points out that the dress is not in a saleable condition and obviously they cannot take it back.
Obviously?? Obviously???  Why is it that anytime anyone uses the word obviously, there's nothing obvious at all?
In my best calm, Voice of Reason, I slowly explain that I cannot see why they cannot take the dress back, since obviously they sold it to me in that condition. Obviously the stain is not mine, and obviously it would add insult to injury if I were to have to take a dress which is not only too small, but now apparently with added stains.

For those not in the know, I do a good line in self-assertion.
For those not in the know, I do a good line in silent waiting.

It took a possible full minute of silent stand off before I was offered a credit note.

A credit note which had to be used today.
For those not in the know, I do a good line in mental arithmetic.

Even so, it took me a good twenty minutes to put together items which came to no more and no less than the value of the credit note - because they're not getting any more of my money.  Pfffttt.
And yes. I checked for stains before I bought them....