Listen up now, I've been called "strong" and "outspoken" in my time. Not,I'll admit, as often as I've been called "late", "weird" or just plain "wrong", but there are people who believe that I am quite capable of speaking my mind.

These people are, in fact, sadly mistaken. Let it be known that they are wrong.
Let it be known that I am a wimp; I am wet, I am in fact a veritable mollusk on the seabed of life.
As evidence of this startling fact, I give you the following:

The scene - an investment manager's office. Kayleigh, our young fresh faced Client Liaison Officer, is taking some details - including my date of birth.

Kayleigh - Nineteen...sixty....{pause}
Macy - 1961. Yes.
Kayleigh {double checking} But that means.. you're... no...That would make you nearly fifty.
Macy - No. That means I am fifty. It's June already.
Kayleigh - But that's'd never think that...gosh you look really good on it...

Deep breath

Reader, did I answer "Look, dollface the attitude's unprofessional, and you can quit with the personal remarks right now"?

Pfft. I wish.

Did I adopt my look of Serious Bemusement before firing back "Well what the merry blintering hell do you think fifty looks like? Raddled and bed ridden? Toothless?? FFS DO NOT DARE TO PATRONISE ME.

I did not.
You know what the wimp said don't you....

"Oh...gosh.. thanks... ha ha.. must be good genes..."
Thanks?  FFS...