Yep, yadda, whatevers, because I'm
(a) too kind to bore you with tales of how wonderful my holiday was
(b) too lazy to make up for a fortnight's blogging
(c) getting to be of the cynical opinion that all holidays are more or less the same...
I've thrown together the following statements to let you generate your own version of my holiday. All of them are true...
The Cherub and I are just back from holiday in
(a) Sunny Turkey
(b) A beautiful hotel with two swimming pools and a spa
(c) Some part of the Med that will be forever INGERLAND
Early on in the holiday I told myself that I didn't care
(a) That I was the only one there without a partner - hell at least I didn't have Rows and Sulks and Silent Breakfasts....
(b) That, early days, as the lone Scots, the cherub and I were the whitest around the pool. Tanning is easy, it's not turning to leather in your old age that's hard.
(c) That air traffic control strikes in France meant that I spent the best part of my first day on holiday in Manchester Airport
Whilst there I
(a) Once again failed to learn how to swim
(b) Perfected my Mancunian accent
(c) Managed to avoid buying a carpet
I might always remember
(a) Pamukkale's salt pools
(b) The tortoises we found whilst walking in the "ghost village"
(c) Where I was when England were bombed out of the 2010 World Cup....
And let's not forget
(a)Thanks to the great food poisoning disaster of 2010, I lost 5 pounds in two days
(b)Thanks to "Genuine Fakes Limited" my designer handbag collection has trebled
(c)Thanks to hours everyday spent in the pool, I am now indeed the colour of a very old leather sofa...
6 July 2010 at 21:24
So, you should have gone to Rothesay really, shouldn't you? Better chips and ice-cream.
6 July 2010 at 21:45
Mme Def - Nah - Last I heard, wee Paulo Nuttini had moved out of Rothsey years ago.
6 July 2010 at 22:55
It's difficult escaping Manchester Airport without having bought a carpet, I commend your iron will.
6 July 2010 at 23:06
At least you don't have two giant red hams at the bottom of your legs like I do, so I say you did pretty well there missy. Plus Turkey? Yes please. Hot, sunny, water to splash in, FAB.
I didn't laugh at all when England uh...detoured....out of the cup.
OK, not TOO much.
Also? What Kevin said. Well done avoiding the carpet.
6 July 2010 at 23:29
Mr Musgrove - It's the lack of Coronation Street memorabilia I'm really noticing now I'm back in Cheesetown...
Ms Veg - Indeedy. You can see how I had to perfect my Mancunian accent then..
7 July 2010 at 10:54
At least your luxury five star hotel accommodation didn't turn out to be a building site next to a brothel. I don't like beach holidays myself, I must say, I prefer a city where I can soak myself in culture and a cosmopolitan ambience. Or something equally pretentious.
7 July 2010 at 20:31
Nick - Like Manchester!
11 July 2010 at 14:20
Thats C,B,A,C,B
And you have the photos and bag to prove it
12 July 2010 at 06:59
Clyde - Just to be really weird... they're all true!
Except the mancunnian accent has worn off a bit now...