Yep, yadda, whatevers, because I'm
(a) too kind to bore you with tales of how wonderful my holiday was
(b) too lazy to make up for a fortnight's blogging
(c) getting to be of the cynical opinion that all holidays are more or less the same...

I've thrown together the following statements to let you generate your own version of my holiday. All of them are true...

The Cherub and I are just back from holiday in
(a) Sunny Turkey
(b) A beautiful hotel with two swimming pools and a spa
(c) Some part of the Med that will be forever INGERLAND

Early on in the holiday I told myself that I didn't care
(a) That I was the only one there without a partner - hell at least I didn't have Rows and Sulks and Silent Breakfasts....
(b) That, early days, as the lone Scots, the cherub and I were the whitest around the pool. Tanning is easy, it's not turning to leather in your old age that's hard.
(c) That air traffic control strikes in France meant that I spent the best part of my first day on holiday in Manchester Airport

Whilst there I
(a) Once again failed to learn how to swim
(b) Perfected my Mancunian accent
(c) Managed to avoid buying a carpet

I might always remember
(a) Pamukkale's salt pools
(b) The tortoises we found whilst walking in the "ghost village"
(c) Where I was when England were bombed out of the 2010 World Cup....

And let's not forget
(a)Thanks to the great food poisoning disaster of 2010, I lost 5 pounds in two days
(b)Thanks to "Genuine Fakes Limited" my designer handbag collection has trebled
(c)Thanks to hours everyday spent in the pool, I am now indeed the colour of a very old leather sofa...