TS Eliot would have it that "April is the cruelest month".
Obviously TS had his own scheme of seasonal change and momentous events in mind when he wrote that. He was writing some of the most important poetry in English Literature. He was working on finding and defining the objective correlative for the human condition.
Back at mine we're on a different calendar. Different anniversaries. Smaller stuff.
We've already had the First Christmas since W's death. Through January and February we had the first anniversaries of W's operation and terminal diagnosis respectively.
No celebrations were in order.
In March we had Mother's Day. Neither W nor I had any time for this ersatz, commercial schmaltz. Presents and cards were always handmade. So on Mother's Day 2008 I was given a video featuring the Baby Cherub, and a very young W and Macy.
I can't watch it.
This year without a firm steer away from commercial pap, the Cherub went out and bought a present all on his own. I hate Mother's Day.
Now April's here and the flowers we bought on our last family day out are coming into bloom. That's OK. Who's going to get too cut up about daffodils? But we also have the start of the Big Anniversaries.
On April 20th It will be six months to the day since W died.
By a rather superb twist of fate it will also be 18 years to the exact day that I met W.
You want icing on this cake? I remember the date so well because it's my birthday....
OK Big Hand to TS Eliot, but I think I've outdone his April.
11 April 2010 at 20:35
These are bitter April anniversaries, Macy. What did Eliot know? You have outdone him.
Mother's Day in March? Here it's in May (but equally schmaltzy).
11 April 2010 at 21:28
Anniversaries and birthdays are bitches to be sure. I'm not good at dealing with either. Having said that, there's something to be said in favour of the 18th anniversary of meeting W: a girl's allowed to enjoy a happy beginning once in a while.
[hug]
12 April 2010 at 15:28
Oh Sweetie.
Smells, sights, and sounds all leave permanent ink.
[another hug]
Sx
12 April 2010 at 20:40
Anniversaries are a twin-edged sword. Some good, some painful, but I'm with Kev - remember the happiness, there's a lot to be said for it. Take care.
12 April 2010 at 20:53
Elizabeth - Thanks. For a man whose only other claim to fame is that his name is an anagram of TOILETS, TS has his moments.
Mr Musgrove - Indeeds. And looked at through a cryptic glass darkly it's not bad celebrating an 18th on your birthday either....
Ms Scarlett - They do. And trails of mascara too unless you invest wisely.
{Lovely quote btw}
Mme DeF - Thanks. Do you know that's what W and I did on one of his last mornings? We tried to remember all the details of Summer 1992. All the happy ones.
12 April 2010 at 21:45
Goodness, what can I say, such painful anniversaries. My constant succession of happy ones seem so trivial in comparison.
I'm with you on Mother's Day. I've totally ignored it since way back when, and my 88 year old mum knows better than to expect some schmaltzy card....
13 April 2010 at 07:47
Nick - Hi! I'm working on a theory that if you really appreciate what you have and take care not to lose it, you won't.
You and yours sound safe!