That's me (me!!), sitting crosslegged in the back row.
OMmmmmmmmm....
It's Yoga, don't you know..
And we are starting the class with three Omms, and then we will breathe.
Yep. You read that right. Next up we're going to be Breathing.
OMmmmmmmmm....
We will breathe with each nostril in turn. We will visualise our breath, we will focus on how each breath feels as it enters and leaves our body; the colour, the weight, the sensation.
I will not think about bogies.
We will breathe in the left nostril.... then exhale sl-ow-ly from the right.
Then we will repeat the exercise in reverse; in the right nostril.... and out...the ... left.
We will repeat this five times.
And yes, yes, yes this yoga business is totally out of character. Totally. I know.. This is ridiculous. Bells, chanting, energy flows, pfft. Honest to God, this is so totally not me. Through entire decades of smoke and drink and late nights, I've managed to carry on breathing just fine on my own.
Fine.
Well except for the heart attack. Since my wee cardiac event, I've reviewed the options and decided I'd like to keep breathing a while longer thanks very much.
So I've Made Some Changes.
I'm going Back to Basics.
Starting with Relaxation and Breathing.
And I'm not sure I'll ever manage the Sun Salutation, but my breathing is coming on just fine.
No laughing at the back there.
3 September 2011 at 16:27
Yay...good on'yer Macy...if you weren't in another country I'd come with you.....breathing fairly regularly myself at the moment but think I need to do some form of gentle exercise or pilates or yoga or something...just don't want to have a heart attack to make me actually start something!
3 September 2011 at 16:51
I'm a smug git when it comes to sun salutations so I will keep quiet.... I haven't quit smoking yet though so this scrubs out my brownie points.
Sx
3 September 2011 at 17:34
Great to acquire that sort of self discipline - good luck!
3 September 2011 at 18:11
A Sun Salutation? Is that sticking two fingers up at the Newsagent?
Good work though Macy - take control.
3 September 2011 at 18:20
Think Breathe.
If I tried yoga, this would be me.
3 September 2011 at 18:27
nice one, sugar! i just wish the yoga instructor on the dvd i have wasn't just so damn skinny! *sigh* but then, that's just me and my healthy thighs talking! ;) xoxoxox
3 September 2011 at 18:39
I want to try yoga but am scared of two things:
1. the tinkly-bell-chakra-energy-flow-bullshit aspect of it, and
2. the uncontrollable public farting. Billy Connolly once said that yoga makes people fart and I trust Billy Connolly.
But good luck and do report back on the farting so I know if it's safe to proceed.
3 September 2011 at 18:56
I'd be surreptitiously playing Angry Birds within two minutes. I'm more than happy to not do anything for hours on end, as long as no one expects me to focus on it. Very best wishes to you, I hope it is all you want it to be!
3 September 2011 at 20:50
Keep it up (or down, or wrapped around, or whatever). I think I do instinctive yoga to get to sleep, by clenching and then releasing my toes and my scalp. Am I on the right track? Oh, and I try to breathe as much as possible (fags permitting).
3 September 2011 at 21:07
Libby - The more the merrier Libby, as long as you don't set me off giggling during the ommms..
Scarlett - Ha! But can you do the breathing?.
(Oh get me....first signs of self rightousness are appearing....)
Jenny - It will be. Apparently relaxing is the bit I'm bad at..
Rog - Well it worked for the NoW...
Lx - Yay! Annie Hall, classic stuff! Cue Paul Simon...looking to party...
Savannah - My instructor's not skinny, but she's the bendiest woman I've ever met....
Timorous - No! Me too!! After all that focussing, and breathing, and trying not to snigger I was worried I was the only one in the class imagining what would happen if someone farted.
Z - Ah but can you lower your pulse rate with these Angry Birds? Watch me get to a stage beyond boredom
3 September 2011 at 21:08
Tim - Hmmm you might want to throw a few omms into the mix.. if it doesn't disrupt Mrs Tim's sleep too much...
3 September 2011 at 22:08
I learnt about oommmm back in 1968, Zen was big at the time. The then Mrs T was very irritated. But there isn't a Mrs T at the moment, so I can make any noises I like (and frequently do, with those guitars).
4 September 2011 at 00:14
How in the hell do you control all these nostril acrobatics? Does everyone have a nostril jerk whilst sitting in a circle? Do I ask too many dumb questions?
4 September 2011 at 06:30
I am not laughing in the back. I think this is totally cool, and furthermore, I'm all about health, and taking matters into your own hands. So I'm in the back row alright, but I'm applauding you...but I'll do it quick so as not to disturb you during your breathing exercises.
4 September 2011 at 09:56
Tim - If it works, you go for it. Both nostrils if need be.
Charlie - You and Martha are going to try this at home, I know it.
Mmmkay, what you do is you sit comfortably (crosslegged), straight back, eyes closed to visualise.
The you hold your finger against the nostril you're not using.
Be careful breathing out in case you dislodge anything up there...
Sandra - Yo! And a quick check of your blog tells me that you're more than likely to be at the gym before me anyhoos!
4 September 2011 at 11:10
Hi Macy and thanks for visiting 'Saturdays child' and leaving a lovely comment. Please feel free to join the challenge anytime you want. I look forward to seeing your pictures. xxx
4 September 2011 at 12:22
Autumnmiss - Would you believe it? In a fit of efficiency which is setting new records even for me..I've lost my camera...
4 September 2011 at 12:37
I've never read such a humorous idea about Yoga which I haven't tried yet. It seems to be worth trying. Thank you for visiting my imatured blog. From japan.
4 September 2011 at 13:53
If you can control the energy and are totally relaxed you can get up, grab the wooden sword and happily beat the crap out of your oponents (it's called Aikido).
This blank slate state can be very satisfying, just overcome your inner control freak.
4 September 2011 at 18:06
Haricot - Hi! I loved your blog for the photos of everyday Japan.
63Mago - Hmm beating the crap out of my opponents sounds like something my inner control freak would love.
I think it's my inner teenager I need to smother.
4 September 2011 at 18:09
You're going to guilt me back into exercise, aren't you?
*sigh*
Yeah, fine, okay. I'll start kicking Davina's butt again. Next weekend.
By the way, good on you for giving it a go. Though why you'd want to be a human pretzel is beyond me.
5 September 2011 at 02:05
But you quit smoking. Please tell me you quit smoking.
5 September 2011 at 02:45
I spent some time reading back through your health situation...and I am really enthused with your good humor and tenacity throughout it all. You have found a new fan.
Oh....of course I found you, with all those satellites and secret things at my disposal.
I wish you well.
Regards,
Jerry
5 September 2011 at 05:15
Gawd I hate yoga! Tried it once and the teacher was just plain weird. Spent a lot of time telling us how she had so much control over her internal organs, she could make herself vomit at will - a cleansing procedure, doncha know? Stuck it out for a couple of lessons and then bailed. Bloody boring too...my mind kept wandering to bogies and even less pleasant things!
5 September 2011 at 07:58
Roses - With a bit of luck the health kick will be over by Christmas. Until then, my half headstand will be the talk of Cheesetown!
Maps - Oh absolutely, in fact there is a small note of self righteousness creeping in when I see smokers..(doesn't stop me enjoying inhaling mind you)
Jerry - Well hi! Just glad you could make it over here what with the Libyan Thing kicking off and all...
Had a laugh at yours too...
Curry Queen - Ha! But could your teacher hit a bulls-eye? Could she aim before firing? Could she? Could she?
I hereby promise never to barf at will....
5 September 2011 at 10:37
I have healthy respect for Yoga not least because I had an orgasm at my first lesson.
I no longer go to classes or practice apart from just thinking yoga when breathing, standing, relaxing etc.
5 September 2011 at 18:13
Pat!!! Were you breathing really hard??
5 September 2011 at 21:28
If you can get the hang of it, all that relaxation and natural breathing will probably do you and your heart the world of good. I tried yoga once when I was much younger but didn't take to it at all.
5 September 2011 at 22:04
We need to hear more from Pat.
I did go to classes for a while and got over the oddness of the nostril breathing. I didn't enjoy the 'ommmmm' stuff at all, but the exercises were grand, as long as you had a sense of humour and no sense of competition.
6 September 2011 at 14:25
Sometimes, the basics are required. :-) I practice yoga three times a week (four when I'm particularly good) and it's done much to calm my chattering, distracted brain.
Plus I can touch my toes. :-)
Pearl
6 September 2011 at 18:19
Nick - I've tried yoga before, but always got impatient. But in my new mature phase, I have plans to stick with something..
Speccy - Indeed we do...I'll be keeping a close eye on the rest of the class, that's all I'm saying.
Pearl - Funny, I was just thinking of you and your sun salutations last week in class.
Give me a year and I might be managing 12 a day every day....
6 September 2011 at 18:46
Not sure if I left a comment last night or not...maybe too busy breathing in a glass of wine. We've done yoga for years and I've think I've gotten even worse...but apparently yo're not supposed to care. I'm forever the giggler at the back
10 September 2011 at 14:01
Really I want to laugh but I have a friend the same age as me who has taken to natural therapies. He is now a very fit and healthy man who will die from worrying about not following his routines---and has to take his grasses, powders and capsules to sleep, wake up and be regular
The best thing anyone can do is follow doctors orders and stop worrying
10 September 2011 at 14:06
ALW - Yes! They tell you it doesn't matter how you're doing compared to other people.
We Know They Are Lying..
Clyde - I draw the line at natural medicines. I like mine tested and proven to work!