The dogs in Cheesetown are not having a good run of things right now...In the past couple of months no less than three of Ned's five regular walking companions have gone through the door of the vet's for the last time...

Remember Jock? or Old gentle George? Yeah last week saw another beloved old family hound put down.

Now it's Ned's turn to get the qualified diagnosis from the vet.

Not the full death sentence! Not a terminal diagnosis... but the writing's on the wall.

The Nedster started taking fits last autumn. Nothing to worry about yadda yadda, come back if they become frequent said the vet. How frequent is frequent? I asked being uninformed about all this. More than once a fortnight said the vet.

Within a week I was back.. because he was having attacks twice a day or more..

And the vet was relaxed about this, and Ned got put on drugs. And the drugs worked, until they didn't, when our relaxed vet upped the dosage. To cut a long story short for the past nine months we've been raising the dosage everytime he has more "breakthrough fits".
He's currently on six times the level of drugs he was on last September.

Which is not a Good Thing.

Last week our vet was sounding a bit less relaxed. Ned had had to be taken back after yet another major episode. The vet phoned me with the results of his blood tests.

"Well the good news is that we've still got some scope for increasing the dosage"
Oh..right..good
"But we are approaching the limits he can be given...How old is he again?"
Four and a half.
"Ah.. mm and it's been 9 months since the first episode... I think we may have to accept that we won't be able to control the epilepsy. This does happen I'm afraid".
..
I'm waiting for the usual "Lots of dogs have fits and live to a hundred" routine.
..
It isn't forthcoming.
..
So his fits will keep getting worse?
"Yes, that's entirely possible."
"At the same rate?"
A deep breath from the vet, "Yes, we may have to look at quality of life issues. "

The Nedster and I are currently contemplating the meaning of Quality of Life Issues.

Because it's good to have PLANS.

Not that I've always been good at them mind you; big changes yes. In past lives I've been known to announce I was going travelling around Asia and NZ because I'd met W...later I sold up in London to move up to Edinburgh because I fancied a change and there were a lot of real ale pubs in Edinburgh. A later mid life crisis had me selling up from Edinburgh to migrate back to Glasgow... then back again... All those have been without plans...


This big change will be different though. Behold. I am planning it!

Early planning stages started last winter, when I decided that enough was enough, and most people in the world didn't have to live through miserable east coast winters. Canadians and Russians and all those fun loving Scandinavians yes. Rest of the world no. And walking the dog in sidelong sleet and rain in the dark for months on end wasn't making me a better person.
It was pissing me off.

By January I had identified a country where there was no sleet.
Even better I could speak to the locals, and claim the right to reside and work.
AND it's got faster broadband than Cheesetown.
What's not to love about New Zealand?

Step one. Register the Cherub as a NZ citizen - his dad was, so he is.

Step two. .. work on all those lovely new NZ contacts I'm meeting through the E.E.R.I.E

Step 3 - I'll keep you all informed now.
I am, frankly, a genius.

There I was, this morning, stuck in the car and trying to blank out the soundbite from David Cameron. As you do if you remember how popular single mothers were with the tories last time around.

{Oh yes Dave, I've noticed your intention to pay people to be married.
And don't think I'm not taking it personally.}

But I digress. His Hon Cameron made the astounding claim (this morning 7:45 on radio 2 if you want to check) that


"The voters are literally still swinging today".

Erm literally Dave??? Like not metaphorically undecided, but literally swinging??

That's right, according to the leader of the opposition, voters near me are currently tied by their ankles and swinging like pendulums, stuck on swings in playgrounds, or (hivvens!!!) swinging with other swingers

Could be the Tories just lost the pedant vote.

What can I say? Did I ever say I could never fall in love again??

If I'd been honest I'd have admitted this upfront. I have had my eye on this one for over a year now...Let's quote those great Cheesetown locals the Proclaimers
"First time I saw you it did cross my mind..
The next time I saw you there wasn't the time..."

But I have been otherwise occupied you know: circumstances didn't allow.

But now...
Since April 21st in fact...Yeah. It's love. I recognise the signs. Right now I'm in the first stages of complete infatuation. Those long evenings together, the nights, planing for the future. Nothing else matters....

Which isn't to say we haven't had our wee disagreements. But they're wee disagreements; nothing fundamental, because my baby is almost practically perfect.

Sigh