In the coming weeks, we will be looking at schools.
Well not you and I obviously.... The Cherub and I will be looking at schools.
Not a sentence I ever thought I'd be typing you know.
As a bit of background I have believed a my life that a fair society works better for everyone. That we're all in this together - and separating priveleged kids or catholics and Muslims and Gaelic speaking from the rest at the age of five is in no one's interests. For every results league table showing the achievements of the private sector, I'll point out the achievements of the state schools given the raw material they have to work with.
And, hell, it worked for me.
And yet, and yet, and yet the Cherub is not flourishing.
Take any indicator of school progress you like, and the omens are not good. And I'm not just talking about the academic scores. Something needs to be done, and I can't make up this difference myself.
Dorrenfromwork it was who mentioned that the larger private schools in Edinburgh operate subsidised places for (Suitable) Children in Need. One school in fact was established purely with the aim of helping "puire faitherless bairns".
This school, for her kids go there too, has so many puire faitherless weans that they have a commemoration day each year in the school. And a school psychologist. Along with a very tony looking library and science facilities.
A phone call has established that The Cherub is entitled to significant amounts of help in the private sector at this and other schools.
So I'll be visiting schools and talking to headmasters and guidance teachers, and comparing them to the Good Guys we already know in Cheesetown High.
And I'm not saying we're changing schools - but looking is free.
And his father will be rolling in the grave he doesn't have. To which , all I can say is - Wayne you copped out. You died. You left me with this.
Well not you and I obviously.... The Cherub and I will be looking at schools.
Not a sentence I ever thought I'd be typing you know.
As a bit of background I have believed a my life that a fair society works better for everyone. That we're all in this together - and separating priveleged kids or catholics and Muslims and Gaelic speaking from the rest at the age of five is in no one's interests. For every results league table showing the achievements of the private sector, I'll point out the achievements of the state schools given the raw material they have to work with.
And, hell, it worked for me.
And yet, and yet, and yet the Cherub is not flourishing.
Take any indicator of school progress you like, and the omens are not good. And I'm not just talking about the academic scores. Something needs to be done, and I can't make up this difference myself.
Dorrenfromwork it was who mentioned that the larger private schools in Edinburgh operate subsidised places for (Suitable) Children in Need. One school in fact was established purely with the aim of helping "puire faitherless bairns".
This school, for her kids go there too, has so many puire faitherless weans that they have a commemoration day each year in the school. And a school psychologist. Along with a very tony looking library and science facilities.
A phone call has established that The Cherub is entitled to significant amounts of help in the private sector at this and other schools.
So I'll be visiting schools and talking to headmasters and guidance teachers, and comparing them to the Good Guys we already know in Cheesetown High.
And I'm not saying we're changing schools - but looking is free.
And his father will be rolling in the grave he doesn't have. To which , all I can say is - Wayne you copped out. You died. You left me with this.
6 November 2011 at 13:39
My husband went to Heriots. He wasn't a 'faitherless bairn' but his parents didn't have much money; they worked really hard to pay for his education (not sure how much extra help they were given). They certainly aren't the traditional private school types but they knew he would thrive there. And indeed he did, getting just about enough grades to study medicine at Aberdeen and now he's a doctor. He and his parents have always said it was worth it.
Sometimes you've just got to trust your instincts.
6 November 2011 at 13:57
i'm with trish, sugar! trust your instincts. each child has different needs. our 4 went to a variety of public and private schools (we were expats for a few years) and in the end, super nana ended up at a private girls school while her brothers stayed in public school. you do what's best for your child! good luck! xoxoxo
6 November 2011 at 14:13
If a school genuinely has the best interests of each and every pupil at heart, it doesn't matter whether it's state or private. And I've known good and bad in both sectors. Good for you, for being so open-minded.
6 November 2011 at 14:18
Taking daughter out of the dysfunctional public high school and putting her in a private school is one good decision I am most proud of as a parent.
Best wishes finding the right fit for your son!
6 November 2011 at 15:17
I didn't fancy the local council school when my boys were school age but was impressed with the village school a few miles away. I learned to drive so I could ferry them and the head was so impressed she accepted them.
I also think one should do what - knowing the child - one considers best for them. Back in the thirties everybody was sure of a good education and grammar schools were excellent and available to all. So very different now.
6 November 2011 at 15:36
We've almost bankrupted ourselves paying for private education but we don't begrudge a penny of it. If we hadn't, I'm convinced that the son (at least) would have been in a Young Offenders Institution by now with his sister close behind!
6 November 2011 at 16:57
Quite right to take action if Cherub isn't doing well at his present school. If state schools were always high-quality, you wouldn't be facing this dilemma. If a private school is better for him, then go for it, his well-being is what's important. I went to a private boarding school, was thoroughly miserable and did very poorly in all my exams. My parents should have transferred me somewhere else but for some reason they didn't.
6 November 2011 at 20:38
Trish - Spooky coincidence! And you're right about trusting your instincts. I haven't done that enough in the past!
Savannah - Different needs at different times too I think The Cherub, I'm sure would be struggling less if he hadn't lost his dad.
Z - Agreed that you don't always get the best by paying more. And maybe too bad that I haven't been more open minded earlier.
Herr Von Lx - Thanks! Luckily our school's not dysfunctional (yet). just too big to be able to pick up on the quiet kid at the back of the class needing help.
Pat - Luckily one of the best primary schools in Scotland was within walking distance of our house. The trouble is it feeds into a secondary that was having trouble even before the cuts. The Cherub's on his third guidance teacher in four years.
Curry Queen - Not sure if I should let you know that I don't need to pay a penny, what with the "fatherless bairn" situation.
Mind you there's easier ways to get a free education....
Nick - So sorry to hear that! And there I was having a (mostly) great time at my comprehensive....
6 November 2011 at 22:27
I so admire you for the Mum that you are, visiting schools that may appeal to and help the Cherub rather than maintaining the status quo. A mutual agreement between you and the boy might work wonders . . .
6 November 2011 at 22:44
Charlie - I've got to play nice - at the end of the day he gets to pick my old folks home...
6 November 2011 at 22:56
'We're all in this together'...is a lovely idea, but real life means doing the best thing for you and the cherub, whatever the best thing might be.
7 November 2011 at 09:28
I went to one of the crappiest schools in the country and survived and came away with qualifications.
Technically this makes me a genius.
:-)
Sx
7 November 2011 at 17:20
I am an ex private school girl, and also an ex teacher. I would have so happily sent the beautiful children to Stew Mel and Mary Erskine as they were within a 2 minute walk of me in Orchard Brae. The ex mr auntiegwen was hugely against it but when we moved to England we bought a house in the catchment of the best school in the county, and to me that's just paying for education in a different way. Everyone does the best they can for their kids as we don't all have an even playing field, I hope you get what's best for your boy. Much love xx
7 November 2011 at 19:14
I don't subscribe to parenting by political ideals, nor to 'one size fits all'. Ideals before peoples' needs are terrible. There needs to be some flexibility built in. And you live in a country where there's a choice.
You have to make the choices for Cherub, that will be in his best interests for the long-term.
After all, you want to educate him to the highest standards so when he choses your retirement home, it doesn't smell of Pine and Pee.Wayne will understand. And if he doesn't, we'll burn asafoetida until he does.
7 November 2011 at 20:20
Libby - You could be right..Although I need to check out the school first. The Cherub and I don't usually get this lucky....
Scarls - Being raised in the middle of nowhere meant that no matter how crappy my school was, algebra was still the best bet for a wet Sunday afternoon.
Mind you, look what happened to me.
Auntigwen - At some point we must have been neighbours roundabout the Mary Erskine area.... six degrees of separation and all that...
Roses - Old folks home?? The child needs to be earning enough to get me a swanky granny flat complete with butler.
Heads off to get the asefoetida in from Scotmid
8 November 2011 at 02:29
We do the best for the children so that they can grow up to do their best for all...
Pearl
8 November 2011 at 10:25
I had this - I believed the state system would be fine because it was fine for us. But it's changed.
Of course there were always rotten schools, but the people who went to those didn't have a voice.
You have to do the best for your child. Even Dianne Abbott thought that. You can't look back and feel you didn't try your best.
8 November 2011 at 18:53
Looking is free. The education is cheaper than it could be. He's not flourishing where he is. If he and you like the school, then the choice is made. if you don't, then he stays where he is.
You do what you need to do for the Cherub to thrive and grow and be who he can be. You've got enough going on- don't beat yourself up over this one! x
9 November 2011 at 08:24
Pearl - Indeed. An open mind is going to help!
Jenny - Spookily enough I was thinking of Dianne Abbott ..if a potential leader of the labour party has the same thoughts....
Speccy - To Hogwarts then...
10 November 2011 at 15:58
I was hell-bent on all my kids going to the local school but when it got to Tallulah she just floundered for two years. Thank goodness there are loads of great private schools out there and now she's at a very progressive hippy one and hard to say who is happier - her or I...
14 November 2011 at 09:56
My children have done private, state and French and all have their merits, well, except French but then it did teach them another language I suppose and they can still recite obscure French poetry. We are so incredibly lucky to have an outstanding state school on our doorstep which is one of the most inspired and inspiring educational establishments I've had the good fortune to come across..... and thank f**k for that! We all have to do what is best for our children regardless of our own feelings for one kind of school over another but it breaks my heart that we too are going looking at another school for The Boy this week. He wants to do medicine and knows that with the innate snobbery in English universities for private/grammar school education he stands a better chance applying from a grammar school 10 miles away than from his current school, even though the comp gets better results. Hope your school visit goes well
18 November 2011 at 02:08
Needless to say, education is the most important for children. So your quest and act is quite understandable, and I admire your activity.
7 December 2011 at 13:50
It's funny but I would turn with Wayne but I think the public system is failing students all over the world.
Teachers no longer seem to have that care, more the desire to get a job and keep a job.
They no longer see the student with needs, more that they need to get the class taught what they think they need
The private schools head hunt good teachers and assess their performance as much as the performance of their students