Yes. Sorry, but this really does apply to all of us...

Unless your heart is truly set on the standard package offered by your undertaker (pine box, 20 mins at the crematorium, flowers and transport from home EXTRA) Leave Very Specific Instructions.
Go to this excellent site and make all your wishes clear.
http://goodfuneralguide.com

And even if you have no clear wishes please let us know - so we will know for sure that we haven't short changed or mis-led you in any way at all.

Seriously.

Today we shall not rant about funeral undertakers. I appreciate I have stamped my little foot enough, and ranted, and they ARE doing a necessary job, and IT IS all about the people who will be there.... not the service itself.

I still don't understand why it costs more to stay at the morgue in Leith than it does to stay in the Malmaison hotel down the road (£682 per week if you're interested).
I still think Edinburgh District Council are taking the mick when they want £780 to DIG a grave. Not buy the plot, just DIG it!
I have NO IDEA why on earth it would cost the undertaker £100 just to bring a cardboard coffin 30 miles down the road from Perth.
And I am truly dumbfounded that DOCTORS are so hard up they need to charge £150 a pop to sign the CREMATION Form.

Enough. Enough already. At least the MUSIC will be good. W always said he wanted BB King's "Moving on" played. And he will have.
Love you Wayne
xx

It's a bit like planning a surprise party really - umm except it's a funeral...

(And yes, yes , yes, I know what you're thinking - NO Macy, don't go there!!! There are some subjects which are NOT SUITABLE FOR BLOGGING. Well tough. I've used the "F" word already, so bear with me or return later)

So as I was saying, it's a bit like planning a surprise party, except there are two very key differences.
1. Party boy does know that the planning is ongoing (yes W is still with us, but Nurse Linda and I like to PLAN THINGS).
2. We do have to allow that the guest of honour is unlikely to see the great event itself - though of course you never can tell...

Anyhoots, like many good ideas, it all started with a discussion of money. And went from there to value for money... and the more I thought about it, the more stupid a conventional funeral seemed. W has worn only one suit in his entire life - this was bought from a thrift shop for a wedding, and was worn as a joke. It doesn't seem right, therefore, that he now be carried off by four hired men in suits.
Also W has never done anything by the book, has never subscribed to any religion, and it seems right that his funeral be about HIM. He has a lot of friends who are going to want to see the job done right.

Current planning is, therefore, a woodside burial, cardboard coffin, transport in Sparkle's people carrier and a ceilidh afterward. His fellow beer drinker for the past 20 years, El Rocky, will give the address.
Sorted.

It's now my job to check which details party boy wants to approve beforehand - is he happy with a carboard box? Would he want us to draw on it? Would he like a wake? Is there anyone he wants BARRED?

So many details, so little time...