More and more it feels like I'm abandoning W when I leave him alone in his flat for the night. All I can do is make sure he's settled into his recliner with a DVD in the machine, a phone within reach, water and drugs to hand and old Jock dog in charge on the sofa.
Big hugs are out of the question with terminal 4 bone cancer (it hurts too much), and I'm sticking to some received theory about being upbeat with the patient. No Tears. Ever.
I leave sharpish.
Likewise W also avoids amateur dramatics whenever possible, but he did call out last night as I was leaving:-
"Macy, you've been a been a star as always. Thanks for everything"
"...Yeah, well you know me - I'm only doing this for the KARMA. I'm needing a major karma reversal or something these days"
"Don't worry. Come Easter I'm going to be sending you down all the karma I can"
........
"{deep breath} Yeah? Big Karma? The kind of karma that gets you a good job and everything?"
"The biggest there is"
Thanks toots.
23 September 2009 at 19:21
People like you amaze me. You're so strong and capable and you've figured out exactly how to deal with a terrifying situation in a way that's beneficial to both of you. It must be tremendously hard! Good luck with everything.
Good luck really isn't the thing to say, I just am not sure what is.
24 September 2009 at 02:04
Yep, I think I would rather not be going through it (and I have) and just have the chocolate.
17 years later and I wouldn't have done it any other way.
I hope the karma is big
24 September 2009 at 11:29
No hugs. But lots of karmic ones instead.
Sx
24 September 2009 at 22:42
have a big virtual hug from me
25 September 2009 at 09:54
Ms Veg! Gee thanks...and..um I am so not going to demolish any illusions you have as to me being capable. There is actually a local by-law in Cheesetown against sitting down wailing in the middle of the high street.
Mr C! Let's hope the Karma is not only big but also George Clooney shaped..
Ms S and Mr Musgrove - I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy already from virtual hugs.
Better already. Thanks guys.
Macy xx