Wednesday, 16 January 2013

This is a total disaster and there is nothing anyone can do

Nothing.
There is nothing (nothing!!) that can be done in the face of this unmitigated disaster.
Nothing.

Look!  No on second thoughts, don't look! Take my word for it instead why don't you.  Learn from my mistakes.
When a hairdresser is in mid story about his trip round Nashville, and how he's got engaged and all. Don't listen to a word.
Do not take your eyes off the mirror
Do not ever on any account forget to tell him that the fringe must be past eyebrows.
Do not smile encouragingly and nod your head at the same time.

Because

Because otherwise you will end up with a runty fringe that makes you look like wee Jimmy Krankie

You heard it here first

at

30 comments:

  1. Tim16 January 2013 at 20:28

    Wish I had your problem. I have to point out where the hair is.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ms Scarlet16 January 2013 at 20:41

    No one would ever dare do that to my fringe. I feel your pain.
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kevin Musgrove16 January 2013 at 21:04

    We can make a contest of it: The Small Object Of Desire reckons I need a trim.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Macy16 January 2013 at 21:24

    Tim - I'm feeling your pain....but at least you didn't have to pay for the grief

    Scarlet - Thank you. This isn't the first time either. Which makes it worse..

    Mr Musgrove - Yeah. This way, you do stand out in the crowd and all

    ReplyDelete
  5. libby16 January 2013 at 21:37

    Pictures...we need pictures.

    ReplyDelete
  6. LẌ16 January 2013 at 21:56

    Reverse karma to balance out that run of good luck with the real estate transactions?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous16 January 2013 at 22:14

    So you are a case for the Hair Hall of Fame (HHoF)?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Macy16 January 2013 at 22:29

    Libby - I can assure you there will be NO pictures

    LX - Yep. Do not buy lottery ticket, do not pass go,

    Mr Mago - Do they have a Hair Hall of Infamy???

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous16 January 2013 at 22:42

    Occasionally. It's in the same building. MSScarlet works there.

    ReplyDelete
  10. mapstew16 January 2013 at 22:58

    That's a bollix!

    A badly coiffured bollix! (Sorry) :¬)

    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  11. Macy16 January 2013 at 23:23

    Mr Mags it's starting to make sense now...

    Maps - Bollix is the perfect word for it. And it's a perfect bollix

    ReplyDelete
  12. Unknown17 January 2013 at 01:17

    I have also had a BAD fringe cut this week. Luckily for me, my hair grows like a weed and will be fine in a week or two. May I suggest, hats, bandanas, hair flowers galore and glittery pink hair spray, which will distract from the terrible cut.

    Yours in bad-fringe-solidarity,

    Sarah xxx

    ReplyDelete
  13. savannah17 January 2013 at 02:03

    i'm sorry, sugarpie! :( i agree with miss sarah - scarves work wonders. (i'm living with bedhead this week. *sigh*) xoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  14. Librarian17 January 2013 at 07:02

    Hairdressers have been sued for less...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Rog17 January 2013 at 13:12

    I think you'll find that the Edinburgh Fringe is supposed to hilariously funny.

    It sometimes gets a bit lowbrow though....

    ReplyDelete
  16. VEG17 January 2013 at 14:58

    This post is USELESS without pictures. :) Frak's sake, Macy, the number of times I've come out of a salon looking like I went in and said "Why don't you drink a bottle of whisky and see what you can do with a pair of garden shears!". They're innumerable. And now I always add "please take an inch off the ends to get rid of split ends, that's a real world inch, not a hairdressing inch, which is what the rest of us call six inches."

    ReplyDelete
  17. VEG17 January 2013 at 14:59

    ....on second thoughts I might now be realizing why I always come out of there looking like I just wrestled Edward Scissorhands and lost...

    ReplyDelete
  18. Macy17 January 2013 at 20:34

    Sarah - Why does it make me feel better to know there's someone else, somewhere else, who hates her fringe as much as I do?

    One good thing is that with it being winter and all I can get away with wearing a trapper hat between now and March when I should be a respectable enough length again.

    Savannah - Bedhead? Don't talk to me about bed head... first thing in the mornings half of it sticks straight up!
    Get well soon btw!

    Librarian - Sued?...I even gave him a tip.. because I didn't see the full horror till I got home.

    Rog - You know what. All puns are forgiven just as long as you don't come out with that classic ever mind it'll grow back

    Veg! - No photos There will be no photos until this Frankenstein fringe has grown out.
    Any photos will be destroyed, any digital reproductions will be stamped on.

    ReplyDelete
  19. LẌ17 January 2013 at 21:18

    If no photos, how about a police sketch artist rendering?

    [dodges thrown scissors]

    ReplyDelete
  20. Curry Queen17 January 2013 at 21:50

    I'm too mean to go back to the hairdresser just for a fringe cut, so I do my own....with mixed results, it has to be said....

    ReplyDelete
  21. Macy17 January 2013 at 22:34

    LX - Because the Hair Hall of Fame is finally running out of pictures???

    Curry Queen - Oh I usually do my fringe - but I needed the back done as well.
    This is the bit that doesn't show.. ah wait a minute....

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous18 January 2013 at 00:33

    Oh sorry, I forgot - never mind it'll grow back!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Rurousha18 January 2013 at 08:08

    I've given up. I don't try to understand hairdressers' spatial perception anymore. I have my concept of 1 cm and they have theirs, and that is that.

    Suffice it to say that my fringe currently resembles a toothbrush.

    Solution? How about a hachimaki? Link here. :)


    ReplyDelete
  24. Pat18 January 2013 at 11:50

    It will grow:)
    I have washed my hair just now with 'Tousle me softly' and the resulting haystack atop ma heid is no funny!

    ReplyDelete
  25. nick18 January 2013 at 12:44

    I've become adept at re-doing the bizarrely unnatural fringes the hairdresser sometimes leaves me with. There's probably scope for a new business here - Fringe Repair Ltd.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Z18 January 2013 at 18:00

    Oh Macy, I feel for you. I once had my fringe cut a bit short and I had to wear a hat for a couple of weeks. Ever since, I've explained that it mustn't be short enough to show my wrinkles. But you're too young to have any.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Macy18 January 2013 at 19:04

    Mr Mago - There is a naughty step and you are going to go sit on it.

    Rurousha - For indoor use, or when my trapper hat is in the wash??

    Pat - If it wasn't for having your own hair disaster you'd be on the naughty step with Mr Mago for coming out with the "never mind" mantra.

    I desperately need it to grow for this weekend!

    Nick - And of course this emergency repair service would need to be on call 24/7

    Z - Lovely comment. Trust me...not too young for wrinkles....

    ReplyDelete
  28. speccy21 January 2013 at 14:49

    They must be invisble wrinkles Macy, otherwise he'd have known not to go shorter. My fringe provides a public service- it stops people falling into the crevices. My hairdresser would be too scared to cut it short

    ReplyDelete
  29. Unknown22 January 2013 at 17:15

    cccccccccc

    ReplyDelete
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On you go - I don't laugh at typos...