Notes I wrote in Naples #1

Posted on 20:59 In:
Naples.  And  I'm sat on the bus from the airport doing some rough calculations It's nearly 15 years since I last landed in Italy.
Last time it was in Sicily. I was with Wayne and we had an 18 month old cherub in tow.  We landed in Palermo Sicily; our plane had been delayed, our luggage had got lost and we were driving a rented car through the rush hour traffic.
The Cherub was still in nappies, and with the luggage lost I estimated we had 12 hours until meltdown.
I was fretting about the nappy situation.
Wayne was blaming me for directing him the wrong way down a one way street.  Things were was going badly, and I was swearing that I would never ever, not in this life or the next, drive through Italian traffic.

But the Cherub was a joy.
He loved his kiddyseat, up high in the back of the car, he loved the oncoming flood of headlights.  Turns out all he'd really wanted in life so far was the sound of 500 car horns tooting loudly around us.

How could you argue with this happy wee chappy in the back seat?

Turns out things have changed a lot in the intervening years.  I've got him loads of oncoming Italian traffic complete with tooting horns and flashing lights... and all the Cherub can focus on is that we're lost.

We're on the wrong bus.... we're headed in the wrong direction... my navigation skills have been found wanting again....

How to book a holiday by mistake

Posted on 20:43 In:
No, really! It's possible! I've just done it! You really can  book a holiday by accident.

Watch's the recipe..

Start with one large part of self pity. O poor wee me.. used to travel, used to do stuff.. stuck here, best years of my life ebbing out. blah blah and yaddaDon't have any self pity?  Have some of mine.  No really. I've got plenty..

OK now add alcohol to the self pity. White wine always works for me, but apparently whisky or gin is quicker....

While you're waiting for the alcohol to kick in, fire up the PC and start trawling through  a cheap travel website.

You'll find it.  You'll find the holiday which is
(a) unbelievably cheap
(b) actually still on offer during the school holidays
(c) somewhere new, and unexplored, and somewhere you should see
(d) really, really, cheap

You can always find these holidays when Under the Influence.
No.  I have no idea why you can't find them when sober.

Now for the last and final piece of the jigsaw, what you really need is to live near to a provincial airport *, an airport which has so few direct flights to anywhere interesting that finding a direct flight to my cheap holiday destination of choice means that I Have To Click.  This is a sign! I am destined! I can do this!

See.  Just bought a holiday by accident.

Last minute....

To Naples.


*Don't tell Alec, but Edinburgh International is a wee bit provincial

Cough....cough...cough... hak! hak!
(Sensible Self) Macy is it dusty in here or what? This is ridiculous! When did you last open this blog??

Macy - Mumble....

(Sensible Self) Yes. Exactly.  And did you leave a message explaining your absence or did you just stroll out? Leaving the telly on , so to speak?

Macy - Sigh...

(Sensible Self)There were rumours you know! Rumours....dark rumours involving bachinalia ansd subsequent hospitalisation around Burns Night. 
Rumours linking yourself and a troupe of  Alex Salmond impersonators....  
Rumours that you had taken a vow of silence.....

Macy Doll, I'm not going to kid you here... it's not been good.  But things are going to get worse if everyone finds out you have simply been working overtime!

Macy - Vast amounts of overtime!

(Sensible Self)   But overtime Macy - since when was there any point to that?

Welcome to the car crash...

I have a complicated bereavement. I was only reconciled with my ex, W, months before he died of cancer. Luckily (for him) I was made redundant and able to care for him while he died here at home - October 20th.
Currently getting through it with our son, aka the Cherub, dog Ned, and friends here in CHEESETOWN.

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