Apparently I am going through a complicated bereavement.

Ha! And I'm reminded of W being upbeat about having a rare and complicated cancer when first diagnosed. "Now they have to take notice of me...."

It's complicated, what with only being reconciled a few months before he died; complicated what with having just finished with the Dybbuk before W was diagnosed; complicated with being made redundant, and so having no Structure.

All I know is there are some days, when his dying just hits me like a steam train all over again - and I can't believe he's gone. That's so not possible.

Not W. He wouldn't leave the Cherub.
He just wouldn't. He was the World's Best Dad.

Don't get me wrong, I don't envy other people with uncomplicated bereavements. Wouldn't wish any kind of bereavement on anyone. All bereavement is equally crap.